Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
