It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
