Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
