Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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