I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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