windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
