Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
