she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
