all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
