bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize