Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Randomize
