I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
