The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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