i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
