grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
