Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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