That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I wear drunk well.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
