well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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