is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
