why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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