So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
