You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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