My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
