she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
