He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
