Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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