no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
