You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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