She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize