i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
