3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
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