'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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