in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
