I hope my margaritas pass through security.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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