fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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