He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
