Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
