so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
