let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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