How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
