so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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