goodnight i made you a song goodbye
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
