need another drink. this is the easiest way
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
