I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
