dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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