i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
