nut hugger
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
My feet surprised me
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