tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
