yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
