Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
