Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
