Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
