my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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