i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize