she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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