Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
