he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
