Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
