So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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